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<title>i need you, and baby i need to, let down my guard and give you my scars by blackpercy</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281893">i need you, and baby i need to, let down my guard and give you my scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackpercy/pseuds/blackpercy'>blackpercy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, idk who lied to yall and said that u dont need therapy after getting into a relationship, like..........u still need to work your stuff out, this is perachel hurt comfort but rachel's still gonna rope him into legit therapy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:48:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281893</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackpercy/pseuds/blackpercy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hurt/Comfort. Percy's sad on a bad mental health day and Rachel's here to try and help.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel Elizabeth Dare/Percy Jackson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i need you, and baby i need to, let down my guard and give you my scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
<p></p><div class=""><p>Rachel knows him.</p></div><div class=""><p>She knows his favorite shade of blue (Cornflower, contrary to popular belief), she knows his favorite pair of shoes (he says it’s the black Vans she customized for him for his seventeenth birthday but they both know it’s a lie), she knows his go-to order when they go to 7-11 at 12 AM (Coca Cola slushy despite everybody knowing that cherry is superior).</p></div><div class=""><p>Most of all, Rachel knows how his mind works. She knows that Percy blames himself for stupid stuff and that he holds the weight of the world in his mind. She knows that, on bad mental health days, the smallest thing makes him shut down and close up. She knows that he tries to make people happy as a substitute for the inability to do that for himself.</p></div><div class=""><p>Today, Rachel knocks on the door to his room in his New Rome apartment. Today’s probably a bad day because he texted when he’d usually call, then didn’t respond for an hour. Now, she’s here with crack cookies from Wal-Mart and hopefully enough optimism for the both of them.</p></div><div class=""><p>She knocks again, because there was no answer, and Percy’s voice shouts for her to come in. Rachel takes a second to school her expression before pushing the door open.</p></div></div><div class="">
  <p>He’s lying on his bed with his earbuds in. He’s wearing sweats and a blue t-shirt and, when she walks in, he tries for a smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey, Percy.” She says it softly and holds up the clear plastic cookie container. “I brought crack cookies. They’re complete garbage but I know you like them, so-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t slander my crack cookies,” he laughs and reaches for them. Rachel grins.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s only slander if it isn’t true.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Percy sticks his tongue out at her before opening the pack and stuffing a cookie in his mouth. Rachel settles on his bed across from him, watching him. She wants to ask him, she wants to make sure he’s okay, but it’s so hard to find the right words.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rachel stops staring when he meets her eyes. Percy raises an eyebrow with a slight smile. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you done psychoanalyzing me?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rachel scoffs. “I never was, Sir Paranoid. I just…” she falters. “Are you okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m fine,” Percy says with an unconvincing shrug. His shoulders are too mechanical as they move upwards, his jaw is too set. He sees her unconvinced expression, so he leans forward and gives her a quick kiss. “I’m okay, Rache.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Then why’d you text?” She asks. “What happened?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Percy doesn’t meet her eyes. He fiddles with his t-shirt and his eyes wander to the window. Rachel waits.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I...I thought of something today. It was stupid,” he rushes, running a hand through his curls before taking it out and peeling the sticker off the cookie container. “I saw the...burial grounds for New Rome. I saw the headstones, the rows upon rows of dead kids…”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His voice grows quieter as he delves deeper into his thoughts. The sorrow in his expression, the guilt, is something that Rachel can’t forget. “Some of them were younger than me. It’s weird because....why did I survive and they didn’t? I shouldn’t...after everything I’ve ruined, I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rachel’s heart aches. She wishes she had answers for him and she wishes she could understand even a fraction of what he’s going through. She can’t.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Percy looks like he’s at a breaking point. His shoulders are tensed as he tries to hold himself together with nothing but willpower. He holds his chin up, like if he fakes a brave face he’ll feel it eventually.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rachel inches forward, close enough so she can rest her palm on his cheek. He leans into her touch. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Percy, you deserve to be alive. You’ve been through so much, you’ve sacrificed so much, you deserve peace and happiness.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Percy shakes his head. “Rache, I’m-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” Rachel stares at him and crosses her arms, challenging him. “You’re what? The savior of Olympus? An amazing son, brother, and friend? I dare you, what?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He stares back, his eyes reflect his internal struggle with himself. Rachel sighs. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m begging you to stop being so stubborn,” she says softly. “You deserve love, happiness, and everything in between.” He smiles wearily and runs his hands through his hair again. If he keeps at it he’s going to run out of hair before he’s forty.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He leans his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Sorry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Please don’t say sorry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“...Sorry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rachel chuckles and loops her arms around his neck, dragging him down with her as she lies down. She speaks, making a mental note to call her therapist friend later. “How about we just have a quiet day today? No New Rome responsibilities, nothing potentially disturbing. Just you and me?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He snuggles closer to her, sighing in something close to contentment. She can feel his smile. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah...we can do that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
<p></p></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>u know, this is funny bc the coca cola slushie is my favorite. cherry tastes like battery juice don't @ me</p></blockquote></div></div>
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